First of all, let me begin by telling you that I plan on updating my blog more often than once a quarter from now on! :)
I figured I would update everyone on how our transition to Crockett is coming along. Our family has been overwhelmed at the blessing of being in this wonderful town, precious church, and amazing new group of friends! I'm so glad I didn't listen to the little voice in my head that told us we could NEVER move and be as happy as we were. Sometimes I feel a lot like the Israelites as they wandered through the wilderness complaining and worrying over how they would get water and be fed. When I read about them in the Bible, I can't help but think to myself, "What's wrong with these people? Didn't God just rescue them from slavery and part the Red Sea for them? How can they forget so easily?" Then I remember that I too am just like the Israelites. I worry about a house that hasn't sold, health insurance, changing schools and leaving so many precious friends and family. I worry how my children will get enough "Nana and Papaw" time and how we'll afford to live on one salary. I too, just like those wandering people in the desert, forget how He has already provided everything I currently have. I have witnessed His miracles in my life and been washed in His mercy, His grace, and His blessings.
I am ashamed of how easily I allow Satan to confuse me and make me doubt. The Lord has taken care of our family during this move and will continue to do so. I will admit that I have to take a deep breath and remind myself who's in control when I think about my house sitting on Trey Rogillio's Way. It hasn't sold yet, and we just recently started over at square one. We had a contract on our house for nearly 3 months that just recently fell through. But, I KNOW that my God is big and my God is able to do anything. A miracle to me is but a breath to Him, and a blessing is but a whisper. Jerry and I have spent some major time thanking God for some things that would appear to be setbacks to those on the outside looking in. However, we are confident that our God has a plan for us, because His word tells us He does. We are secure in the fact that it was He who called us here and not we ourselves. This gives us the hope that we are, right this moment, cradled in His arms and depending on Him for everything. It's a good place to be.
I am honored to update you on our church family as well. Talk about some workers!! These people are on fire and ready to conquer our town for Christ. What a blessing to be surrounded by such a church family. When I say church family, there is a major emphasis on FAMILY! God has already used these wonderful people to bless us and answer prayers. We are overwhelmed at His goodness and at theirs.
Having His peace that surpasses understanding is amazing!! Knowing that He will provide, believing that He is Holy, and trusting that He is in control!!
Keep our family and our church in your prayers. We are growing and changing everyday and are wanting nothing more than to do His will. Feel free to keep up with what we're doing at www.calvarybaptistcrockett@blogspot.com

Crockett, Here We Come!!

Okay! So here's the deal. I am the type of person that hates paperwork and cannot stand to deal with the annoyance of phone calls and scheduling things. I love that the bank just sucks my money straight out of my account and pays my bills for me, and I usually get every other year free on my inspection sticker and registration sticker because I hate to get those renewed. I have no idea where my driver's license is, and I guess that's really not that important, considering it expired in June...a year ago! I just hope it's not with my social security card wherever it is because that would just be too convenient for identity thieves. I am notorious for misplacing the keys, and every morning begins with an Easter egg type hunt for a hair brush for Liv's morning torture. It's not that I desire to be this way, in fact, it drives me insane.
All this to say, my family is about to relocate to a new town! WHAT?!?!?! Me? Relocate? To make it even better, we learned that there is a possibility that we may have to move 3 times!!! There are currently two houses for sale and when both sell, the church will get us a new one. This means if the house I'm moving to sells first, we have to move to the second house, which is also for sale. Then, and only then, will we move to the permanent house. Thinking about all of the things that this will require leaves me feeling a little like a big fat case of vertigo just slapped me in the head. Turning things off in Conroe, turning things on in Crockett, deciding which things will move to the first house, choosing which things will go to storage in Conroe, deciding which things will be stored in storage at the house in Crockett, listing the house here, changing banks (holy cow!!), moving all of my bill withdrawals to the new bank, enrolling Liv in a new school, finding new doctors for all of us, getting new insurance, and the list goes on.
My brain is swimming! I can't even get to the front door most mornings with lunches, both children, and my car keys. How in the world am I going to survive this? We tried to make a list of certain things that we could put in storage because they aren't essentials. Jerry was so foolish as to suggest that I box up my books and leave them in a cold, dark storage facility. Are you kidding? It would be the equivalent of me telling him to leave his khaki shorts and Moorhead Jr. High t-shirts behind. How does one choose which knick-knacks and paddywhacks to leave behind? Do I take my pictures and hang them on the wall in the new house like normal people or do I risk looking kind of Amish by leaving it blank? Do I take the actual dishes or do we attempt too live on paper plates and Dixie cups?
How do people do this? Why does the thought of it cripple me? I really want to take my sweet time and go through each item and choose wisely where it will go. I want to color code boxes for easy moving, and I want to methodically pack boxes with like items so that unpacking will be a snap. I want to know that when I get to the new house, everything will be turned on, and I will be able to go to a local bank and get money if I need it. I would feel so relieved, if I knew that on that first night, I won't have to make 10 desperate runs to Wal-Mart for toilet paper we forgot, pajamas we lost, and alarm clocks we accidentally sent to storage.
But that just wouldn't be the life of a Vineyard would it? I guess for some, smooth is just how life happens. For us, the potholes and speed bumps are natural. I guess it's good that the Lord gave me a very relaxed view on things and provided me a husband that doesn't mind making midnight trips to Wal-Mart!!

And the Vineyard Gets Bigger!!

I cannot begin to express to you the giant sigh of relief that was felt on the morning of June 4. After a long, blessed year, Tripp finally became a Vineyard. He's been ours in our hearts for so long, but he's finally ours in the eyes of the court! No more random visits, daily progress notes, medical logs, or hiding my cleaning supplies and knives in weird places. I am so proud of my wonderful husband and daughter for the willingness to be a part of the adventure that last year took us through. I love our families and the way they wrapped themselves around all three of our boys and loved them as if they would always be ours. I love my God and how He held ours hands through two giant heartaches and carried us to our finish line. He is a big God with gentle, capable hands. I don't know how people who don't know the Lord deal with these kinds of situations. We've spent time in some places we never thought that "people like us" would ever go. I've spent time in the CPS office and time waiting to see a Medicaid doctor at the free clinic that took foster care insurance. I've waited in line to have a child paternity tested and spent some very up close and personal time with people whose lives are filled with heartache, tragedy, mental illness, and dependency problems. I'll be honest that it was hard to keep my pride in check the past year, but I think the perspective it gave Jerry and I on the lost, is priceless. At times we wanted to choke some of the people and families involved in these situations, and other times we were just broken for them. When I look at Tripp, it's surreal that he's here and in my home. Years of prayers and waiting for this miracle are over. My prayers are now blessings and praises. Overwhelmed! In love! Loved by the King!

Nerds Unite!

I felt like writing on my blog, but I didn't really have anything to talk about. So, I'm going to talk about something worldly that I love dearly. BOOKS. I'm a nerd!! An unashamed nerd. When I go to Hastings, it's not for the movies. I go to stare at the row upon endless row of hardback, beautiful, shiny books. I feel like if I touch all of the books, then somehow they have imparted their knowledge or creativity to me. I only buy books that are hardback and that still have perfect book jackets. No tears, no stains, no bent pages, no markings. Fresh, crisp, and still smelling of new quality paper. Are you a little disturbed by this? I promise that my love for them is wholesome. I have learned to appreciate the "USED" book. As long as it's still in decent shape, I'm there!! For Christmas this year, giving books made me the hero!! I was able to purchase a 1904 first edition copy of Uncle Remus Plantation Tales for my sister and an old Dick and Jane basal reader for my mother. It contained a picture that she's been trying to find for years. It came from a story she remembered as a little girl. A lot of searching went into that book. It took us 2 months to find a copy online. Anyway, as a teacher, my heart breaks when children leave my classroom and still haven't found that love of reading that I have. For all of you parents out there, read to children everyday. Make books a big deal. Teach them to cherish them, to prize them, and to love the imagination inside of them. When they're babies, buy them books they can chew on and read in the tub. Give them as gifts. Not all presents have to come with a plug. There are so many amazing characters that children today never get to know, because they don't read. How will children ever know how Caddie Woodlawn became friends with the Indians? How will they relate to Ramona and Beezus during one of their bouts of sibling rivalry? Will they ever find out if Chester the Cricket finds his way home to Connecticut? Or what actually happens to Mr. Popper's Penguins? Give your children a gift that will continue to bless them forever. Teach them to love to read! Let them see you reading something besides the bills, People magazine, or the back of the Hamburger Helper box. Children who read for pleasure are usually the smartest!! Don't be the kind of parent that lets your child watch the movie and never read the book. How sad! Proven by The Tale of Despereaux, the movie does not always follow the book. The book is always better. Olivia knows that it takes $7.50 to buy one of her favorite chapter books at Hastings. When she collects that much money, we know where she wants to go. It's truly a guilty pleasure for both of us. We each have our own book collection. Mine is arranged by author, standing neatly on a bookshelf. Hers is arranged by chaos, shoved on a bookshelf--usually backwards or upside down. I don't mind that as long as she's not destroying them. I'm just so glad she can be found in the quiet moments curled up in a big chair, under a lamp, and cradling a book.

What a Tripp!!

God has always been so good to our family! I'm not sure why I say that with such surprise. For any of those 4 people who actually read this and don't know, we are going to get to adopt Mr. Tripp!! We've known about this since January 5th, but I've had a hard time trying to sit down and write about it! Knowing we were going to lose Gabe made it hard to show my excitement about Tripp. Does that make sense? I felt guilty being happy while I was watching the other precious baby leave! It's taken a while to really comprehend that the Vineyard family will soon include a son! We are so amazed by God's faithfulness! Not amazed that He's faithful, but I'm amazed that he would be faithful to people like us. We're so undeserving. For the rest of our lives, we will be burdened in prayer for Jason and Gabe. If you ever think about them, remember to say a prayer that someday, somewhere there will be a person faithful enough to share the Gospel with them so that one day, we might know them again in Heaven!

Anyhoo, we're hoping to finalize on Trippers by the end of March, just in time for his April 11th first birthday! Wahoo! We're also getting ready to put our house on the market to look for something a little larger. We want to foster again this summer, but we definitely need more room. We're hoping to find something in River Plantation or Rivershire. It would be nice to be closer to all of our friends! We want to thank all of our precious friends and coworkers for their kind words, prayers, and encouraging voices as we've ridden the foster care emotional roller coaster this past 7 months. I know it must be hard to be around a group of yo-yo's that could dissolve into tears at any moment. Thanks for being so supportive of our family! We know that no one else has better friends!

Is Christmas Over? I'm Ready for a Break!!

I feel so out of touch since we left for the holidays. I've only left the house one time in two full weeks to go do something that wasn't either a hospital visit or a doctor's visit. It will be nice to be back in the world of adults and happy people that feel good again!! For those of you who don't know, our holiday was insane. It's just now settled down, the day before we go back to school. I'm on my way right now, Sunday evening, to check out my new "old" classroom. We've moved back upstairs after the hurricane Ike damage and I've yet to see my room. After our insane holiday, I want to give thanks to all of my amazing friends and coworkers at my school that packed my room and moved me upstairs while we were in the midst of CRAZY!! I'd like to especially thank Hayley Rasco and her wonderful husband Bryan for putting my room back together. I also want to thank Cathy for helping us watch Tripp while Gabe was being admitted the first night. We love you all so much!I can honestly say that this has been the longest Christmas break I've ever had. I'd like to sum it up for you in a nutshell if you don't mind!!

1. Friday, Dec 19--6pm--I lose the one and only key to our truck at a gas station down the street from our home and cannot find it. I'm late to my own Christmas party and must leave the truck overnight so we can pay $40 to get a new key the next day!! (I should have seen this as an omen of how the rest of the vacation would go :))

2. The following Monday Gabe gets sick and begins to run a fever.

3. Take Gabe to doctor on Tuesday and he his placed on breathing treatments and steroids. Tripp gets shots and is miserable for the rest of the day. Gabe introduces us to his alter ego, Rabid Baby, that is brought out after each fresh dose of Albuterol. He visits 10 full days.

4. We experience a wonderful Christmas day with our family. Gabe is not any better and Livvy plasters our hallway with vomit. Her stomach bug lasts two days. Two babies down, one to go!!

5. Friday morning, two kids sick--wait for it.......Tripp begins to run fever and develops a cough. Awesome!

6. I get sick with whatever the boys have. First thing Monday morning we take both boys to the doctor. Gabe is immediately admitted to the hospital for RSV. Tripp also has RSV, but not as bad. We spend 3 full days in the hospital with Gabe. Tripp is at home still sick. We hand off Liv to various relatives.

7. State Licensing does a surprise visit to our home since one of our kids is in the hospital. This story can't get any worse can it? Just keep reading!!

8. CPS informs us that Gabe will be leaving our family next week to live with a family friend. CPS is not happy with this, but has no choice. Needless to say, we are devastated.

9. Gabe gets dismissed from hospital Wednesday night and we all go home together!! Yeah.

10. Thursday evening, Olivia's bug back to haunt us. Tripp, Gabe, and I all get to experience it. You've got to be kidding!!

11. Here I am, posting this extremely depressing blog.

12. Tomorrow, we will be having a hearing for Tripp that may or may not go our direction. If you think about it, pray for us tomorrow. His hearing is at 1:30.

Through all of this, I'm learning to cling to God's promises that He loves me and trusting that He knows what's best for me and my family. We know that the Lord called us to foster care and that is why we are here. So many people ask us how we survive losing these kids after having them for so long. For us, it is definitely as difficult as you would think it would be, but it paints a perfect image of the sacrifice God made for us in giving us His only Son. I still trust that He has a plan for us.

We have been blessed with such amazing friends and family. Please know that we couldn't get through weeks like this if it weren't for you. Your prayers, thoughts, visits, calls, and even your elbow grease is so appreciated. Thank you for allowing the Lord to use you to be a blessing to us and our family. If you've done nothing more than love our babies or simply be our friend, please know that you've been used to be a blessing! We are so amazingly blessed and pray that we can someday repay the favor!!